Update!

Hi! It's been so long since I last posted. I wonder if anyone still reads this every once in a while?
Well last we talked I was still just a girl living with her parents going to school
I'm now a manager at my job trying to move up
To a higher position. I live with my supper cute  fiancé in
Are own apartment. I have a nice car 2 cats and a husky
I should be happy. Shouldn't I?
I don't know any more.
I started going to therapy when I was 13
I found him odd, and he smelled weird but
He told me that I had sever depression.
And no matter what is never truly be happy
Fucking weird right?
I told my mother and bra bla bla
Long story short I never went back
But mabey he was right
No matter what I do
It never feels like enoff
I wonder if anyone else feels like this?
I couldn't be all alone right?


~just keep swimming <3

10/7/15

First anxiety attack in a long time.
I just stopped crying and started reading reading
everyone elses blogs.
remembering when i was a there weight.
i start crying again.
that numbers to big.
how could i let myself get like this?
but i need to stop.
im already late for work
and making myself latter every min
i spend writing this pointless nonsense.

Live on darlings <3

9/3/15

Where will you be 5 years from now?
A question so often heard but so difficult
for most of us to answer.
For me the answer is easy.
I will be a pastry chef working on a crews ship
sailing around the world while working on publishing my first book.

My life, like everyone else's has not been easy.
Iv hurt people i care about trying to discover
who i really am and who i want to be.
I finally have my answer and nothing
will stand in my way of getting what i want.

Plus it will be pretty rad to shove my success
in all those snobby little bitches i grew up with faces.

Live On~

9/2/15

Sorry everyone.... well i mean everyone that still reads
my silly little blog. But im back once again and i cant come up
with the words to describe how much i miss blogging.

Im not quit sure where to start since so much has happened
since i last posted, I had an amazing boyfriend i dated for 3 months
and broke up with for no reason because im a crazy bitch,
But he still loves me and i still love him, we still hangout all the time
so i guess its not to bad.
Iv gained quite a bit of weight since i haven't been restricting as much.
Im up to 120 and its absolutely killing me. im going to
start restricting more starting tomorrow so i can get back down to 110,

I just started school again and working 30+ hours a week it has been pretty
rough. But i will post more tomorrow.
I have missed you all so much

Live on~

1/30

Hey lovelys, life's pretty shifty right now

Iv been pretty sick for the last few weeks 

Iv been working way to much and having my ex Larry in 2 of my classes is not helping. He will completely ignor me for 2 weeks and then ask me to hangout but I'll be bussy working and then he'll completely ignor me for another 2 weeks. He's honestly just a fuck boy and I need to he over him. My therapist even cald him a dick, and it was pretty funny. Well I have to go I'm in class 

Stay strong 

1-5-15

Happy new year everyone.

It's been a long time since Iv been on

But since school started Iv been 

Doing good with recovery 

And all that shit. But lately Iv been getting really Sad agin, and I don't think

I can continue "the road of recovery"

Me and my boyfriend of 3 months broke up. I know that doesn't seem like long But I really liked him and it makes me sad that the person I used to spend every day with doesn't even talk to me anymore. Did I mention he is in two of my classes?!?! It's fucking weird you guys.

I miss  you all so much. I doubt anyone reads this anymore but I'll be posting a lot more often. 

~stay strong lovelys  

 

Aug 23

So, I'm at the highest weight Iv ever been at
And I started purging agin.
Never thought I'd say this but thank god
School is stating soon
It will give me time to get my mind off food!
I will make a first day back at school post
In a few days but untell then
Stay strong,